The Sad me :(

I resigned from work in 2 days noticed.. I experienced blood spotting so I was scared and decided to go home immediately. The management fully support my decision though, it will kinda hard for them to replace me within 2 days so I trained one of my employee to temporarily replace me while the management looking for some more deserving employee. Bid good bye was the hard part I shed a lot of tears especially when the management personally came to the office to congratulate me in mt pregnancy and 2nd to convinced me to come back after giving birth. I was so touch that management really appreciate my job. Conrad my site manager who really cant release me that time and suggested to apply for emergency indefinite leave instead of resignation. Millie Pavia, the Indian Finance Supervisor emailed me a good quote... Thank you so much !

Guys, working with all of you give me sense of being more responsible, practice and open for learning and changes to enhance my craft in Construction field. Thank you for being my 2nd family in the other side of the world.

The sad me didn't stop there... my spotting still continue until I was in the Dubai International Airport. When I finally arrived NAIA terminal 1 the spotting was like I have a monthly period and then my luggage was left in Dubai. I stayed for more than an hour to verify my lost luggage and leave some info so DNATA  can send it at home. I was relieved to see M,K and nanay worriedly waiting for me... When they saw my pants soaked with blood they immediately rushed me in the Hospital. I lost the baby... I cried! i felt guilty! I cried! K and M cried! I felt more guilty! I cried! that night was the longest night I ever had...The OB gyne told me the baby was weak. I felt guilty!

Dear Baby Sandy;

Having you in my tummy in 9 weeks makes mommy realize how important Ate K and Daddy M and YOU in my life. I really felt guilty for losing you. I love you so much that I choose you over my career becos I know I'll be more happier to be with the family. But I know there's a reason why God didn't permitted you to come out. Forgive me baby if mommy's care was not enough to carry you throughout the whole thing. I know you are now my ANGEL SANDY please help mommy to recover with my guilt and always there to guide ate K.
I love you so much that I will cherish our 9 weeks together.

Right now, I struggling with myself.. what I really wanted aside from being a mom and wife. Hope before I lose my sanity I find something to keep my worth.

Love,

The sad me